I can tuck mytits in my pants
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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