I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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