we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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