just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
