it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
