You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
