Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
