You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
