Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
