Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Randomize
