My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
