You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
