Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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