So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
