Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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