Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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