I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was born a porn star she said
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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