I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize