Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
