I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
