let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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