at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
