As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
