And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
