all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
