shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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