Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
