My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
