dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
