You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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