Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
there is puke in my bra ... again
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