I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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