After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize