He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
