Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Congratulations! We have a period
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