thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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