Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize