Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
