shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
