i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
