i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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