If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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