So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
In America we eat man semen.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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