Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
