i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
