Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
