she was so not down for the gang bang
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
