hell yes lets make some ravioli
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
