The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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