Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
