i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
