Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
