I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize