Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
