"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
