i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
