I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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