I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
