Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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