How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
