I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
