like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
