pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
NoShamevember. You game?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
