the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
