You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
vagina is talking i cant
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
