Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
