Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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