why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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