threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize