we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize