don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize