Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
