She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
